Prioritizing

With school (9 hours a week) and clinicals (14 hours a week) in full gear, I've really had to re-prioritize all of my activities.  While I am a type-A person and thrive best with a schedule and organization, I do feel a little pressure to make everything fit.  And, while I'm not a fan of it, it has come to the point where I have to "schedule" God into my day.  If I don't do it, it won't be done, simply because I have so much other stuff going on right now (school, family, house, Sunday school, PTA, helping in kids' classes).  I can still lift up little prayers throughout the day as needed (and boy, are they ever), but I no longer have the privilege of leaning into the Spirit and praying or reading the Word when He leads.  I have to schedule it into my day.  And it has been more difficult, because school requires so much of my time--aside from all the hours I am physically there (and the additional hours of traveling to and from), I have to also set aside at least 3 hours a day to study if I want anything to stick.  I also have a husband and children to serve, a house to clean, helping at the kids' school, dinners to cook, and, oh yeah, sleeping and eating.  I haven't picked up a non-school book since August, aside from the Bible.  I rarely watch TV anymore.  My husband and I haven't been on a date, even a daytime date, since early September.  I don't hang out with friends.  It's a good day if I can check in on them on Facebook for more than 10 minutes.  And, obviously, blogging has become a very low priority for me as of late.

This season has been an interesting lesson in prioritizing.  I used to take for granted how easily I was able to schedule my days.  It's becoming increasingly difficult as the term goes on.  There are days when I can't even schedule in time to eat, much less time to hang with my family, read the Bible, or clean my house. It makes me very uneasy not to be able to keep up with things (with housekeeping especially) the way I normally do.  My husband has been AWESOME, and has really stepped up his game in that department.  He never ceases to amaze me, that man.  Not sure what I did to deserve him.  But, at the same time, it makes me feel as though I am not keeping up my end of the deal as the wife and homemaker.  I can't help but feel guilty (despite his constant reassurance that I have nothing to feel guilty about).  I don't know how to reconcile "Sara the student" with "Sara, wife and mother" and actually feel good about it.  I feel as though one has to lack for the other to gain and that there will never be a sense of balance.

God's pretty specific about prioritizing.  The greatest commandment is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind" (Matthew 22:37).  He has to come first.  That is why I specifically arranged my schedule so I could still attend a Bible study on Wednesday mornings.  That is why I still serve in the Children's ministry at Imago (and because those kids are just awesome and it brings me joy to talk to them about God's word).  That is why I made it a priority to set aside time every day to be in the word and to be in prayer (aside from the times we do it as a family).  Because my relationship with Christ is my greatest priority.

And, it is only going to get worse from here, so far as my school schedule goes.  I cannot let anything else supersede my time with God.