Practicing Kindness

It's officially summer vacation for my children.  As of 3 o' clock yesterday afternoon.  And that means, I return to my full-time job as referee.  Because my kids argue.  A lot.  More than a lot.  More than I feel comfortable sharing because I'm afraid of how it reflects on me, as a parent.  Through prayer and reading through Proverbs over the past month, my husband and I have devised a "plan" to help our children get along better.  We are tired of having to separate them or punish them (or, if I'm being completely honest, yelling at them to just knock it off).  We're calling it "Practicing Kindness".

The first thing we did was make a list of rules that need to be followed or they get an immediate consequence.  No warnings.  The rule is broken, the consequence gets handed out.  Every morning, at breakfast, we are going to read the rules.

• No hurtful words. (This one is specifically addressing the name-calling issue in our home.)
• Keep your hands to yourself.
• No cheating during games.
• Ask permission before using another's property or entering another's bedroom.
• Follow directions the first time

(We have other rules, but those get warnings first.  A few of those are: No whining; No interrupting; No complaining; No yelling.)

Some of our consequences are:

• Pay a quarter.
• Write an apology letter.
• Lose TV/video game privileges. 
• 1 hour alone in bedroom (no music or toys--reading/writing ok)
• Extra chores

 The consequences are written on paper and put inside a tin.  The kids will choose it for themselves after the offense.

We are also instilling a habit of servitude in our home.  We often serve in the community together as a family, but we thought we could emphasize kindness in our home by having the children serve each other.  Once a day, each of the kids will do something for the other (and something for us, the parents).  There is to be no complaining or bad attitudes about serving each other.  We opted for the strips of paper in a tin again.  We came up with about 20 acts of kindness which will circulate throughout the month.  Here are a few examples of our "acts of kindness":

Serve the other breakfast.
Serve the other lunch.
Make the other's bed.
Do one of the other's daily chores.
Help the other clean his/her  room.
Draw a picture for him/her.
Make a treat for him/her.

Other ways we are practicing kindness: complimenting one another daily, hugging more, arguing less, being more helpful, and showing generosity.  It is our hope that we can nip this sibling rivalry thing in the bud before our children have no chance at healthy relationship.  And that our children will learn to practice the "golden rule"--loving others as themselves--both in the home, as well as at school, church, parks, and other public places.

We're starting tomorrow.  We shall see how it goes.