Confession 13

If______, then_______.

The "what if" game. I've played that game a lot in my lifetime and doubly so over the last ten years. And thats odd, because "what if" shouldn't matter after you give your life to the Lord because He is in control. So it should be "If______, then God." My confession this week is that I am guilty of not fully trusting God because I let this fear rule over me for the past several weeks. But, on Tuesday morning at 3am, a mere 5 hours before my colonoscopy, He broke it. Or perhaps, more appropriately, He yanked it away. Why was I clinging to it so tightly instead of Him? Where is the faith I so proudly proclaim as a Christian? Its hard to admit, but I let Satan have that one because I wasn't putting His Word into practice. This week, I found out (thanks to Beth Moore) that the most frequent command in the Bible is "Do not be afraid". The only thing we should fear is God, because He is in control of everything! What a relief! Now, can I really accept that truth and live in it? No worries, no anxiety, no fear? It sounds impossible. But, of course, nothing is impossible with God!

Since Tuesday, I am only "overwhelmed" in His peace. Even now, as I await the results of the biopsy (a polyp was found in addition to a few other abnormal findings that are too complicated to explain, but in short can be indicative of cancer), I am just basking in His peace. I am laying all the worries and anxieties in His hands and trusting Him completely. If cancer, than God. He is so much bigger than all of it. He's got this one. :)

Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."