Discipline

I am struggling with all aspects of discipline right now.

First, with disciplining my children.  Both kids are back under the same roof for the first time in almost a month.  Sure, we were together in CA for 2 weeks, but since we were on vacation, they were distracted from most forms of sibling rivalry (car travel being the biggest exception).  They had wonderful solo trips to visit my husband's parents, and we had a great time having one-on-one weeks with each child.  It is truly a blessing to be able to do it every summer.  Now, Grandma is gone and we still have 5 weeks until school starts and the kids are at each other's throats.  Because we were away, I didn't do a good job of enforcing our "practicing kindness" rules.  Nor the consequences for breaking them.  Now, that we're home and "back to normal", I am having a difficult time getting it started up again. It had worked so well for the first 2 weeks of summer.  It's come back to the point where I just separate them rather than deal with the issue, and I don't like living like that.  Not only do I want them to get along for my sanity, but also so they know what behavior is acceptable in the real world and what isn't.

Second, I have been struggling with disciplining myself with diet and exercise.  Especially diet.  I have gained 10 pounds since February.  I haven't weighed this much since I was pregnant and hardly any of my clothes fit right anymore.  I really don't like it.  I need to buckle down again and stop taking in empty calories.  I also need to do more cardio and weight training.  I walk and hike and bike ride almost every day, but it is a more of a leisurely pace, so I know it's not helping as much as it should.  I also feel as though another refined sugar fast is in order.  I've been drinking more juice than normal (since "none" is normal, even 2 glasses a week is too much) and eating frozen yogurt and chocolate way more than I should.

I've also been slacking in getting quality Bible study in.  Since I am not in an active study this summer and we've been gone most of July, I haven't made a point to sit down with the word on a daily basis.  We read with the kids at night (A psalm, some proverbs verses, and a chapter of the New Testament), but that is the extent of my time in the word.  I know I need to delve deeper for my own spiritual growth and to set an example to my kids.

I feel like a bit of a prodigal right now.  Just doing my own thing and not making the effort to strengthen my relationship with God.  It's there.  I have meaningful prayer time each day and love worshipping with music, but I don't feel my knowledge of Him is growing or that I am connecting to Him in the same way.  I want to, but I also feel pulled toward worldly things (and not "bad" ones, per se--just time outside, time with my husband, playing with my kids, watching the Olympics, reading a good book, or enjoying time with friends).  And, at this time, I lack the discipline to push those things aside in favor of spending time with God, time I know I desperately need.

So, I am hoping August will be the time when I return and He welcomes me back with open arms, like the Father to his prodigal son.  I pray I will delight in His presence and not take it for granted.  I recently found two online Bible studies I plan to follow over then next few weeks to get me back into a daily routine of being in the word.  I've cancelled all the book holds I had at the library in order to use that time to be in the word.  I am also gearing up to start school next month, and I know that will make my time even more sparse.  I cannot let my relationship with Christ suffer because of things in this world.  He is the reason I have life.  And I don't want to take that granted anymore.

John 10:10 ~  "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."


Luke 9:23 ~ "Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."