Looking Ahead

So, 2013 wasn't one of our best years.  In some ways.  And, in other ways, it's been exciting and adventurous and unpredictable.  If you had asked me back on January 1st if I would be where I am now,  I'd have guffawed like no one's business.  But, alas, once again, my plans went to the wayward and our life was turned upsidedown.  Maybe not as traumatically as in 2008, when Ezra passed away, but, still....it was a bumpy year.

2013 brought us: underemployment (living on about $2000/mo. for a family of 4), a Crohns flare-up, serious behavior issues with our oldest son (I'm talking fights at school and horrendous attitudes toward us and his sister), a major bout of depression, severe issues with insomnia, a 15-pound weight gain, and (drum roll) failing out of nursing school.  And that was only January - March.  2013 also brought us: a new opportunity for employment and a chance to relocate back to our home state of CA, new friendships, a trip to Seattle, other memorable mini-trips, the chance to reconnect with old friends, and a reliance on God that we haven't seen since 2008.  As much as I had hoped things would have been different (namely, that I had been able to finish nursing school), I'm grateful for where I'm at right now.

I reflect back on my goals from this past year and feel a sense of defeat, rather than the perseverance I set out for.  I feel as if I've let myself down, my family down, and even my God down.  But, I did persevere.  I did press on--even when every bit of me wanted to give up.  So, I'm leaving all those hurts and unfinished goals from 2013 behind and looking ahead with hope in 2014.

So, as with each new year, I have come up with some goals to strive for and a "theme" for the year.  The theme is "focused".  So much of the past year's failings were because I tried to take too much on and couldn't juggle them.  So, this year, my overall goal is to prioritize my time better; to focus on one thing at a time; and to put more of myself and my energy into each of my tasks and commitments.  It's the year to FOCUS.

2014 Goals (Partial list)

1. God first. (I did my very best.)

2. Serve in the community on a regular basis as a family. ✔

3. Volunteer at a hospital. (Does nursing school count?)

4. Go unplugged one day a week. (Mostly--until October)

5. Develop better sleeping habits. ✔

6. Maintain a healthier weight with regular bike rides, yoga, free weights, and a good diet.✔

7. Cook one new meal per week. (Again, until October.)

8. Write and mail at least one letter per month. (This one happened maybe 6 or 7 months.)

9. Find a book club to join. 

10. Write more stories.

There are more personal ones I don't care to share publicly, but this is still my most ambitious list of goals yet.  So, with that, I am looking ahead.  I will focus on the present and the future and not on what I could have changed in the past.  Here's to 2014!

Happy New Year!