Confrontation

So, anyone who knows me knows I dislike confrontation.  I avoid it at all costs.  If something bothers me or someone insults me, I prefer to just take it and let it slide rather than confront the person about it.  It works.  It keeps my emotions in check.  It helps me to be more Christ-like.  But, there comes a point where I hit a limit and just cannot take it anymore.

And, of course, there are people on the other side of the spectrum who THRIVE on confrontation.  And these same people love to seek out those of us who hate confrontation just to get a rise out of us.  I recently butted heads with one of these people and the outcome wasn't pretty.  Because this is my personal blog, I sometimes use it to vent about particular situations in my life.  Especially the ones that are frustrating or cause anxiety.  So, forgive me, but this is really just a venting session.

I will start off by saying that the person I had this confrontation with is agnostic.  Obviously, there is already some tension there since I am a devout follower of Christ.  On top of that, this person (while not a true member of the family) is close to the family and one I see often.  This person has never been shy about her/his (protecting identities here) issues with Christianity.  We've often butted heads on topics of theology and I've left the conversation before any damaging words could be said.  (As the avid avoider of confrontation.)  Well, the other night, I let it get too far and this person crossed WAY over the line of his/her usual insults and mocking.  While in a conversation about what Christians believe about Heaven/Hell, this person asked me what I believed happened to people who don't follow Christ.  I hesitated to answer because I knew that (1) He/She wanted to get a rile out of me, (2) She/He wanted to make me look like a bigoted, religious fanatic, and (3) No matter how I answered, he/she would find a way to turn my words against me.  (And of course, after the fact, in her/his rendition of the story to another party, he/she completely distorted what actually happened to make her/himself look like the victim and me like the bully.)  So, I decided to be vague in my response and said,"I don't presume to know how the almighty God judges the world.  All I know is that as a follower of Christ, I am going to Heaven."  I felt my answer was kind and honest and straight to the point.  Well, this person decided that my statement meant that I thought her/his grandfather was in Hell.  Not sure where he got that, but then he said to me, "So, if my Grandpa is in Hell, then so are all the Buddhists, Jews, Hindus, and children who could never become a follower of Christ, right?"

I LOST IT.

Nah-uh.  NO WAY.

This person is entirely aware of Ezra's story.  He/she twisted my words and attacked my beliefs and insinuated that I believed my precious little 1-year-old was spending eternity separated from God.  WOW.  I just exploded.  That was it.  I have taken enough of this person's ridicule since first meeting her/him.  I was fine to ignore the differences due to the ties to my family, but I can only tolerate so much.  No more.

What's worse is that now other familial relationships will be affected because I don't think I can be around this person anymore.  Especially after she/he distorted reality in his/her favor when retelling the story to someone else.  She/he said that I was the one who said his/her grandfather was in Hell.  I didn't even bring up the situation, so how could I have said that?  It makes me livid.  I think I have a lot of tolerance of people.  I think I am very respectful of how people choose to live and what they choose to believe, even if I don't agree with it.  Ask anyone who knows me.  But, I think I've come to a point where I am tired of being a punching bag for this person's anti-Christian slurs.  And it makes me sad.  I don't like strained relationships within the family (or those close to the family).  I am one of those people who wants everyone to get along.  And its frustrating to me when it comes to a point where I can't get along with someone.  I am an amicable person and I try my hardest to be kind to everyone and never to offend anyone.  But, again, this person is on the other side of the spectrum and seeks out ways to offend people and cause strife.  It's sad.

Truly, I am sad.  I've been so upset for days.  I haven't eaten much and have been super sick (possibly the start of a flare up) since the whole thing went down.  And that is frustrating to me.  I don't like it when I let people get under my skin so much.  It gives them too much control and feeds their need for conflict.  I need to learn not to let people have that much power over me.  It's a lesson I had to learn the hard way in this instance.  :(