I'm sitting here on my front porch feeling completely overwhelmed. Scared. Thankful. And disappointed. There was a kitchen fire in my house this morning. I went to turn on the kettle to make my morning cup of tea, and went about with all of the chores I need to get done today while the kids are at school, and suddenly I smell smoke. I am on the stairs (sweeping them) and run up and there are the flames shooting up from what I realize is an open pot of cooking oil. It was left out from frying tortillas the other night for tostadas. I kept meaning to take care of it, but I guess nature decided to deal with it for me. In that instant, I was in a panic. Not sure what to do. Couldn't remember where the fire extinguisher was; couldn't even remember where I had laid down my cell phone. All the "laws" of putting out fires were out of my head. I grabbed a mixing bowl from the counter, filled it with water and dumped it on the fire. Not quite out. Filled it again and dumped it. Out. Smoke was everywhere, filling my lungs. And I am thankful. I am ok. The house is ok. The kids are at school, Peter is at work, and they are ok. But, I am scared. The house is full with smoke. What do I do? I started opening windows and doors. The fire alarm is going off by now, but no neighbors are home to notice. I am alone. I am scared. Do I call the fire department? The fire is out, it doesn't seem like an emergency to call 911. But, I am coughing and it hurts to breathe. What do I do? I have so much to do. Cleaning, shower, cooking (does the stove even work?). My parents are arriving tomorrow from out of town. And then it hits me. And I am disappointed. I didn't keep calm in an emergency. And I didn't respond in the right way (Really, water on an oil fire? What the heck is wrong with me?). How can I be a nurse if I can't make the proper decisions in a house fire? My disappointment is starting to overwhelm me. It's cold. I am outside in jammies, a robe, and slippers. I am all alone. I sit in a freefall of tears for what seems like forever (but was really about 10 minutes) until I feel this warm calm over me. Jesus. Oh, Jesus, You are here. Thank You! And the tears flow faster and harder. I am shaking, full of too many emotions. But He is here. I realized that I hadn't been actively praying, but that the Holy Spirit had interceded anyway (Romans 8:26-27), and I could still be comforted in that moment. God is so good!
When scary things happen, I am so glad that I know God. Without Him, these types of situations seem hopeless. His comfort was all I needed to clear my head and get back to task. I am not alone. I am still shaken up but I don't feel so helpless anymore. I may not have reacted appropriately to the fire, but He protected me. What would I have done without Him?
2 comments:
Oh Sara, you poor dear! I'm so glad you are okay and it wasn't catastrophic. I guess you can chalk it up to practice and learning how you would react in a dire situation. At any rate, be thankful you put the fire out and have a chance to reflect on it. That's what our Safety team at work does every time we have a drill... we do a post-mortem and talk over what we did right and what we did wrong and make improvements.
Thanks for sharing how the Spirit was there even when you didn't ask. I need to be reminded of that often.
Oh my Gosh Sara! So glad you are ok and maybe it was just God's way to let you know you are not alone. So thankful that everything is well and you are safe. Miss you!
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