In Memory....

Well, it happened. I lost a grandparent. Granted, I lost a grandparent when I was four, but I don't remember so this is the first grandparent I've lost that has had a huge impact on me. My paternal grandmother, Helen, passed away last week after going into respiratory failure just a few hours after having bladder surgery. The hard part was I was on my way to a bachelorette trip when I got the news. It didn't give me a whole lot of space to process my emotions. Since I knew I would be a complete wreck, I called into work the next day and told them I wouldn't be coming in for my weekend shifts. They were very respectful and helpful, referring me to our HR department, who explained how to take a 36-hour (so, 3 shifts) bereavement leave. The process was easy and I was able to take the time off to be with my family and process my feelings. I'm still processing. I think I'm still in the denial phase of grief, which is not really something I've experienced before. But, I think because I didn't get to say a proper goodbye to my Grandma B, I am having a more difficult time accepting that she's gone. My dad and his siblings seem to be handling things ok. While the death was unexpected, my Grandma had been in poor health for quite some time. Even the last time I talked to her, she mentioned she was at peace with "her time" coming soon. She'd lived a long life. She gave so much of herself to her kids and grandkids. We were lucky to have her. And, she will be missed tremendously.

Rest in peace, Grandma B. You are loved.

(2001)