I Need A Pick-Me-Up

Right now I am struggling with discipline. Discipline to pray, to read the Word, discipline to study Chemistry, to work out. Even for discipline to discipline my children. I feel like I am become apathetic, indifferent to all of it. I know the feeling; I've had it often in the past. It usually precedes a bout of depression. Since moving to Arizona 5 years ago, I have suffered from annual episodes of depression, almost exclusively in the summer. There were times when it was "justified" (i.e. Ezra's death) and times when it seems to come from nowhere. But, really, it has to do with being bound indoors for 5/6 months every summer. It seems to be starting earlier than usual this year. And it is surprising me because I have a lot going on with school and church ministry and activities for the kids this summer, so I am not homebound. So why this sudden lack of interest in everything? I know its chemical, as I "suffer" from clinical depression which is due to chemical imbalances (as are the OCD and insomnia that plague me throughout the year). I am wondering if the severe heat plays a part in it? Could the heat play a role in my serotonin levels? I DO know that the Crohns disease plays a role; that my own body's defense system attacks the healthy cells in my body (including those that secrete the neurotransmitter). Even with the remicade, I have been struggling with a flare up the past few weeks. Perhaps that is contributing to the mood I am in lately. I just know that these funks aren't good for me, or my family, or my faith. I desperately want to avoid this indifference becoming a bout of depression. Despite how separated I feel, I know the Spirit remains, and I hope He intercedes for me to our Father in Heaven. Because, at this point, I don't even know what to ask for anymore.

Romans 3:26-27 "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."