First of all, three out of the four of us are essential workers and have been thrown into the thick of this. I, of course, work at a hospital, but, my husband works in juvenile custody and my son works at a grocery store, so we're all at a fairly high risk. Thankfully, we've all been good so far, working our usual hours and each have our own routine for "decontamination" when we return home.
The biggest impact is definitely the kids' educations. Everything has been online and remains online through the end of the year. In addition, many classes are going credit/no-credit, which has impacted their GPAs, though not negatively. Essentially, as long as the pass their classes, they keep the GPAs they had prior to the shut down. However, my son (a senior) had a 3.4 GPA prior to the shut down, and was on his way to improving that GPA. Now, he doesn't have that opportunity and won't graduate with honors. I am sure he is not the only senior facing that disappointment.
Speaking of disappointment, seniors got the real short end of the stick with this whole pandemic thing. My son will miss out on his prom, grad night and a traditional graduation ceremony. He also had to postpone getting his driver's license when the DMV closed. I feel so bad for the kid, though he has had a great attitude about all of it. As the mom, after watching everything he has overcome to get to this point, I am so sad about not seeing him walk across the stage and hear his name called over the speaker. I've been really emotional about it. His school is doing some sort of "drive thru" ceremony, but it won't be the same. And, I really wanted to have a big party for him, and I'm not sure when we will be able to do that.
As a family, we cancelled our spring break trip to Tahoe, which was likely to have been our last family vacation as we know it. With Jeremiah working and starting college, his schedule may not sync up with ours for future trips. I'm still hoping we can pull something off next year. Especially because we had also planned to take him on a graduation trip this summer, though the plans hadn't been fortified prior to the shut down.
Peter and I also had plans to go away together for my birthday (June) and our anniversary, both of which have been canceled (though, with our anniversary in July, we may still find a way to do something, depending on what's opened by then). I've cancelled my own plans to go to Disneyland (a few trips have been delayed because of this), to Portland, to Vegas to visit my sister and to Santa Cruz. All necessary, but I am still allowed to be disappointed.
Until today, no one I knew personally has been affected by the virus. Some have had to be ruled out, but no positive results. And, then, my mom told me that my grandfather tested positive for it. He lives at a care facility and has advanced dementia and overall poor health. At this time, he is at the hospital, but only requires supplemental oxygen. I'm grateful for that, but still worried. My mom had not been permitted to visit him since the shut down began in mid- March, and I know it's been difficult for her.
Another way this has impacted us is our routines. Our grocery shopping routines, our date nights, our exercise routines -- all out of whack because of Covid. I miss shopping when it suited me, without having to worry if shelves would be empty. I miss wine tasting with my friends and lunch dates with my husband. I miss being able to get books from the library. And, y'all, I really hate having to wear that mask all the dang time. But, I'll do it. Because it's necessary.
This virus has now claimed over 90,000 lives in less than 3 months. It is not the flu. It is more deadly, more unpredictable and we don't have a clear cut way to treat or prevent it. And, I am sick of all the naysayers and deniers risking others by going out without masks, protesting at state capitols, demanding states re-open. If we re-open too soon, the second wave will be more devastating than the first one. Our numbers are still going up each day, even if it is (finally) at a lower rate than before. The curve is flattening, but it has not quite plateaued. We need more time. I'm also super frustrated with the people "in charge" in the White House not taking this seriously, not listening to science and encouraging states to re-open, encouraging these demonstrations. Is it November yet?
Overall, I realize many others have had their lives lost or devastated by Covid-19, far worse than mine. I feel very fortunate to be where I'm at. I have friends truly on the front lines, one at a Covid unit in New York. The stories are scary. But, I'm praying. Every day, praying. I feel sort of helpless. And, let me tell you, my mental health has suffered more than anything else. My anxiety is terrible, I'm having (worse than usual) difficulty sleeping and can feel the tendrils of depression trying to envelope me. And, I know others are feeling that way too. I'm here to encourage you and myself: find the things that bring you joy and do them. Do not let this affect your well being. Call a friend, take a hike, bake something delectable and eat the whole thing. We are in this together, but apart.
We got this.
No comments:
Post a Comment