Church "Shopping" and Why I Hate It

It's that time again.  We've moved to a whole "new" area and need to find a church family.  We've only had to "church shop" 3 times since we've been together.  The first was when we wanted to find a church in Santa Cruz (back when we were dating, before I was a Christian).  The 2nd was moving from Santa Cruz to SLO.  The third was moving from SLO to AZ.  We didn't need to shop around when we moved to Portland because we knew Imago Dei was the place for us (a recommendation from our Santa Cruz pastor, and their "popularity" due to Advent Conspiracy).

"What about your old church?", you ask.  Well, that part gets a bit tricky.  You see, before we moved from SLO back in 2005, we experienced some discomfort within that body, and were contemplating leaving it anyway.  We didn't because there were people there who we loved and we didn't want to "desert" them.  But, God intervened with the opportunity to move to AZ, and the "problem" worked itself out.  And, since we left, we know others have left, and it just doesn't feel "right" for us to return to that body.  So, we're on the hunt.

I'm not really a fan of the "church shopping" ritual.  There are a lot of reasons why I simply don't like the process:

(1) It seems unBiblical.  I mean, the apostles worshiped with the people around them.  They didn't go around "feeling out" which home church best suited their needs.

(2) I'm introverted.  Church services typically encourage a lot of "say hello to" and "shake hands with" someone you don't know.  I'm awkward in social situations, especially around people I don't know.  It causes all sorts of anxiety for me.

(3) I've got some moderate-to-severe OCD issues.  That whole "shaking a stranger's hand" thing?  Not too happy about it because I can't be sure when this person last washed his or her hands....

(4) It's not good for our kids.  They've dealt with a lot of change recently.  I hate taking them to a new church every week.  They need a little more consistency.  I wish my husband and I had the benefit of "shopping" by ourselves.

(5) I feel like, in the end, it's all just about us being comfortable and not about us finding a place to worship/serve God.  That doesn't feel good.   It makes me feel like I'm buying a car and not finding a community of people to belong to.  Why didn't we just walk into the closest church and have that be our "home"?  Because, in the end, we all want to be comfortable.  And, let's face it, not all churches feel comfortable--even to believers.  So, we search around for the place and the people that make us feel the most comfortable (or perhaps, if you're an introvert like me, the place where you feel the least uncomfortable).

What it boils down to is that I want this to be about finding the home God has for us without overanalyzing or making it about "what we like".  I don't want to dwell on song-style, the children's programs, how often they take communion, or the teaching pastor(s).  The ONLY "requirement" (besides the obvious: Bible-teaching and sound doctrine) is that the church building is no more than a 15-minute drive from our home.  The point of church is to engage with your community.  How can you engage with a community if its 30-45 minutes away from where you live?

So far, we've visited 2 churches.  They were both Bible-teaching and had sound doctrine.  But, they couldn't have been more different from each other.  I'm off to visit a friend this weekend, and my husband plans to take the kids to the "big church", the only mega church in the area.  We've gone to services there before and know we will like it, but we were hoping to find a smaller church community.  We'll visit two more churches after that one and then we'll decide.  We're praying intently about our decision and expect that God will tell us when we're "home".