Hurry Up and Wait

It's been almost a week since I took my essay test for the nursing program at PCC.  If I am being honest, I did a poor job on the essay.  They gave us a copy of our essay and I read it over and over again.  The more I read it, the more I realized what a less-than-satisfactory job I did on the essay.  I am so disappointed with myself.  I know I am a good writer.  I've had praises from teachers on both research papers and creative writing efforts.  I've had praises from friends and even from strangers.  I know I am capable.  But, I am disappointed that I let the pressure get to me and did not manage my time well on that essay.  I can't go back and change things.  I just sit and wait to hear from the nursing admissions office.  I should hear something by May 20th.  I feel like I am just waiting for bad news.  I was already at a disadvantage, point-wise, applying to this program in the first place.  I remember the day of the test, the advisor congratulated us on getting that far.  We were selected from over 850 applicants to sit for the essay (211 were chosen).  It reminded my of the actors at the Oscars who say they feel honored "just to be nominated".  Or the ones that get to Hollywood week on American Idol.  I guess its supposed to make us feel better to get this far, but it doesn't.  I am still sitting here, bracing myself for bad news.  But, trying not to dwell in it.  God's will be done.  If not now, in His timing.  Or maybe He has a different plan.  Time will tell.  So, I hurry up and wait for May 20th to arrive (they will be mailing out both acceptance and rejection letters starting on May 15th).  And, even though I am expecting bad news, I don't fret.  For God has a plan and I need only trust Him to reveal it.  Meditating on this Scripture while I wait:

Psalm 112:7 ~ "He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD."