No Pain No Gain?

It's so frustrating to put forth so much effort into something and not get a solid return on it. This applies to many aspects of life. Currently, for me, its school. I've been working hard all semester in Anatomy&Physiology. I've never had to work so hard in school in the previous 16+years of my education. And I still got (mostly) A's my whole life. But, with this, I am expending so much time and energy (and time away from God and my family) to this class and I am barely scraping by with a B (I currently have an 84, but am waiting to factor in my final practical and final lecture exam next week). It's extremely frustrating. Before my last exam, I studied for a total of probably 20 hours over the period of a week; I read the chapters; I asked questions in class. And I still ended up with a 68% on the exam. I don't know what I am doing wrong. It doesn't seem that I am doing anything differently than previous semesters when I was still getting As. I am so disappointed. It REALLY bothers me that I am putting in so much effort and not getting the results I expect from that effort. They don't match up.

And then I got to thinking. Does our effort always match the return? NO. In fact, it seems that for many things, the two don't correlate at all. I was reading my Bible this past week and it occurred to me that when it comes to faith, effort very rarely equals the outcome. One often significantly outweighs the other. Jesus died on a cross. He DIED. He was brutally beaten, tortured, and spit on. He was ridiculed. He did nothing (whether you believe He's the Savior or not, which I do) to deserve such treatment. He was kind; He was honest; He helped people in need; He accepted people. He was moral and good and deserved to be honored not killed. But, it had to happen. A blood sacrifice is the ONLY atonement for sin. A person's effort has nothing to do with it. And there you have it. There is nothing I can do--no good deed, no penance, no works--that will reconcile me to God. But, I claim the Name of Christ and redemption is mine. Really?! It doesn't "feel" right which I think is why a lot of people have such difficulty with the concept. As humans, we feel we need to "deserve" things, be it good or bad. We believe that our effort needs to match up with the outcome. But, time has shown that this is simply not the case.

So, despite how unmotivated I feel; despite that the outcome isn't meeting the expectations I have; I am pushing through this. Even if it means "settling" for a B after all of my "hard work".