Continued Unrest

I have to confess, "going" to church has made me miserable lately. So much so that I don't even want to do it anymore. And its not necessarily because I am dissatisfied with my church or the sermons or the pastor or whatever. I have just been in the Word and in prayer a lot, and "church" here in America isn't what I see depicted in the Bible and I guess after 10 years in the church, it is starting to bother me.

Lately, I have been reading blogs about churches in 3rd world countries and hearing first accounts from friends who have spent times as missionaries around the world. And I've got to say, I think America has got church all WRONG. Most churches have become about the pastor--this is true in the case of the congregation I am apart of--and that is why there becomes a "need" for multiple campuses. But what about the Church that we read about in the book of Acts? What happened to that? Where in the Bible does it say we have to be "fed" messages on a weekly basis, but God-forbid it last longer than an hour? And we can only have 3 or 4 worship songs at the most, so we don't go over in time for the next service. I don't read about that in the Bible. We've strayed so far away from the true community of Church here in America. In less affluent parts of the world, church is a lot different; its a lot more like the Acts Church.

I think we take Jesus for granted here. We don't really NEED him; He is this deity that we acknowledge and even worship and pray to, but he isn't our only desire. The "American Dream" (homeownership, 2.5 kids, 401K, keeping up with the Jones') has gotten in the way of that. In other parts of the world, He is TRULY all they need; because they don't even have a chance for half of the material things we have here in America. I want that feeling desperately--to truly have an insatiable need for Christ. After my son's life (and death), I got more of an understanding of it. And over the past year, our family has faced health and financial hardships that made us more aware of how little "stuff" mattered and how much HE does.

So, the restlessness continues and I know God has something planned. I just pray that when He reveals it, I will recognize it and seize the opportunity.